A perfect woman had to be pretty, submissive — and Asian for a California man named Steven. A 30-year-old woman from China, on a fiancee visa in the documentary Seeking Asian Female, filmmaker Debbie Lum followed Steven as he sought out, found, and brought over Sandy. Then truth hit. Lum speaks about her movie with host Michel Martin.
MICHEL MARTIN, HOST:
We will just simply take a large u-turn now and also have the things I’m planning to phone some grown people’ discussion about something if you live in some parts of the country or ever check out dating websites, you will have observed that I am sure.
Have you ever realized that some males appear to have thing for Asian ladies? We are clearly dealing with non-Asian males right right here. Chinese-American filmmaker Debbie Lum did, partly because she by herself happens to be the thing – one might also state the prospective – with this fascination. So she chose to make an effort to discover what it is all about.
She interviewed males whom posted online individual adverts solely looking for Asian ladies. This is certainly simply an example of just just just what she discovered.
(SOUNDBITE OF MOVIE, “SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE”)
UNIDENTIFIED MAN # 1: It really is their hair. It is the long, black colored locks that is really attractive.
UNIDENTIFIED MAN number 2: oahu is the entire mystical variety of appearance, dark eyes.
UNIDENTIFIED MAN #3: i do believe they offer more consideration to how a man seems than, often, on their own.
UNIDENTIFIED guy no. 4: Yeah. They’ve been sorts of slight and type of quiet.
STEVEN: This small thing appropriate within the attention.
DEBBIE LUM: this is one way we came across Steven.
STEVEN: simply, you understand, the eyelid cut – it is simply israeli brides israeli like – knocks me away.
MARTIN: ultimately, Debbie Lum settled using one guy to follow along with. You merely heard him. Their title is Steven and she adopted him while he sought after and found a Chinese friend and brought her to call home with him in america for a three month fiance visa. The effect could be the documentary, ” Seeking Feminine that is asian. Its showcased as of this week’s Silverdocs movie Festival in Silver Spring, Maryland and filmmaker Debbie Lum is with us now.
Welcome. Thanks a great deal for joining us.
LUM: Thanks for having me personally.
MARTIN: can you mind telling us just some of the pickup lines which you have actually endured over time?
LUM: Guess What Happens? Individuals usually show up to me personally and they’re going to state three terms in Chinese and it is, you understand, (language talked). They – it is therefore typical.
MARTIN: It Is so typical? Where do you turn? The foot massage treatments ended up being the main one i obtained disgusted by, asking in the event that you give foot massage treatments. I became like, what exactly is that about, anyhow? Therefore, presumably, this will be one of many items that sparked your desire for causeing the documentary.
LUM: Yeah. You understand, growing up being a woman that is asian-american you can’t live without experiencing plenty guys just like the primary character of my movie. Yeah.
MARTIN: What is up with Steven? I am talking about, whenever you came across him – and something for the things you are extremely candid about is you kind of – when you first met him, you really had the urge to kind of turn around and run away that you said. Therefore did I. You discovered their apartment covered with pictures of Asian females. He chatted to hundreds during the period of after some duration. That which was that about with him?
LUM: Well, Steven has that which we call yellowish temperature. He’ has totally, complete obsession with Asian females and, whenever I came across him, he previously been doing a search online for five years hunting for a spouse from Asia and in the end decided that she must be Chinese, not only Asian. And then he actually – he felt – he’d been hitched maybe once or twice in which he felt that their genuine only potential for finding a spouse is always to find someone in Asia.
MARTIN: Why did he feel his only opportunity at joy will be somebody that is finding Asia?
LUM: You know, he had been.
MARTIN: simply get immediately. Just state it.
LUM: Most – the label is the fact that males like Steven, who possess an obsession for Asian females, this thing called fetish that is asian wish somebody submissive, conventional, docile, you realize, the right spouse who is not planning to talk right straight straight back.
MARTIN: And what is fascinating is, whenever Steven finally fulfills Sandy(ph) on line, he takes a few of trips to China to satisfy her. They choose to get hitched pretty quickly. She would go to Ca. She comes into the U.S. On a three-month fiance visa. Let us just say that there surely is an awakening that is rude Sandy isn’t the submissive, you understand, servant which he maybe was indeed anticipating. Why don’t we play a quick clip.
(SOUNDBITE OF MOVIE, “SEEKING ASIAN FEMALE”)
STEVEN: a small tradition clash happening. I am alone for twenty years and, all of a sudden, i am wanting to adjust. There is likely to be a modification on both of our components. This is simply not Asia and I have always been maybe not Chinese.
MARTIN: Well, one of many items that precipitated this, just to fast ahead a bit, is the fact that Sandy found out that he had been corresponding with a fairly multitude of other females and she put her foot straight down. Did this shock you?
LUM: Sandy, through the brief minute she stepped from the plane, amazed me over repeatedly and once again when I had been making the movie. She wasn’t after all the thing I expected and, at first, i truly did – I became simply surprised that she had been the kind of – she appeared to be the standard girl which he had been hunting for after which, unexpectedly, she became a very effective individual inside the life.
MARTIN: Well, I do not wish to provide, type of, the complete tale away right here, but i recently wonder that they operating off a stereotype if you think that their relationship was typical of the men who have this obsession or particular interest or yen for Asian women – is. However the label just isn’t real. After all, that ladies – you understand, these females – a few of who are extremely effective inside their right that is own and their very own agency and they are never as deferential as they believe. You think that that is typical, centered on most of the reporting you did for the movie?
LUM: Well, i might state that everyone has their own tale and that’s actually what the movie is actually getting at. But, when you’re away in search of a female according to a label or simply an expectation, state you are dating online and you’ve got this expectation projection of the individual you are in search of. Once you meet up with the genuine individual, regardless of what your expectation is, it will likely be defied because of the truth.
This woman is a living, breathing one who actually does talk and will talk right back very well.
MARTIN: i wish to ask you to answer about the one thing, however. You understand, there was clearly a study that is recent the Pew Research Center that actually dug in on sorts of the Asian-American population of this usa in a truly profound and type of significant method. And something for the items that they found had been that, this season, almost a 3rd of Asian-American newlyweds hitched a non-Asian therefore the price of intermarriage among Asian-Americans ended up being greater. Well, Asian-Americans are far more prone to marry away from their competition than whites, blacks or Hispanic. And i recently wonder if any insight is had by you into why that could be?
LUM: Well, you understand, that is a thing that has, i believe, troubled the community that is asian-American several years and several generations along with to end and wonder, could it be – does Asian fetish have component to try out for the reason that? Because, additionally, once you view that number, it is skewed within one way. It is often just as much as dual the range white males with Asian ladies as it’s Asian – white females with Asian males. Therefore, yes. It is extremely wondering.